The SOul of A woman
Hallelujah! You are a woman. However, being a woman doesn’t always feel like something to be proud of. We live in a culture that constantly tells us we aren’t worthy or good enough and that our bodies aren’t the correct shade, shape, or size. We are bombarded with imagery of who and what we should aspire to be, none of which represents the creators' original design for us, and so we are forced to change. Our value is frequently measured by how well we can either appeal to a man or compete with a man or each other. In relationships, business, and our lives, it can feel like we are constantly playing catch up to societal standards of beauty, success, and womanhood. It can leave our souls empty and even make some of us feel “soulless.” Our worth is not measured by any of the above, not by what we read in a book, see on a t.v, or any social media platform. We must quiet the world's noise to understand how special, unique, and POWERFUL we are. Yes, you are POWERFUL, WORTHY, and sis, you are LOVED. And if ever you find yourself doubting these universal truths, look within your heart and tap into these five things.
Faith
Now, I am a spiritual person. More specifically, I am a Christian woman. I say this not to attempt to convert anyone; it is a simple, bold statement. We should stand boldly in who we are and embrace, without reservation, the elements of our identity that define us. My faith pushes me to reflect on my own identity constantly. There is a scripture that is often quoted as it pertains to women: Psalms 139:14
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
This is interesting because it's a scripture written to God by David ( a man.) Still, I wonder what it means to be fearfully and wonderfully made. I remember going through my darkest moments, and this scripture would return to me like an earworm. It became an affirmation that if I could have faith in nothing else, I could have faith in the creator taking his time with me, that I wasn’t mass-produced on an assembly line, but that I was created with attention and care. And whether you believe in the Creator God as I do, or some other entity or being, your design is unique, and you have purpose and destiny.
Faith isn’t just religious. The other definition of faith is having complete trust or confidence in someone or something. Do you trust yourself? Do you have confidence in yourself and what you have been called to do? Whew! Those can be tough questions, but what you need is inside you. Everything you need to take on life and reclaim your joy and happiness is inside you. You don’t just have faith. You live it; it is a way of life encompassing hope, love, and peace--the three components that make up the soul of a woman!
Faith helped me get through my divorce, comforted me as I journeyed into single motherhood after my divorce, and pushed me when love entered my life again. It has been my constant companion throughout every trial or tribulation that has come my way before this moment and since (and there have been many).
Faith is love, and faith is hope. Faith gives us hope for tomorrow; Faith as hope provides us the opportunity to look forward with anticipation that better days are coming; faith as love allows us to see ourselves as worthy of love and increases our compassion for others; faith as peace will enable us to rest assured that no matter who, what, where we are we are valuable, so when life gets wild, when all signs point chaos, our souls rest in knowing that on the other side of the storm there is something greater for us.
Hope
Hope is not passive. I know, as a woman, it sounds light-hearted. It sounds lighter than the weight that it carries. But hope is an active force that catapults us forward. It moves, drives, and frees us from the bondage of our current situation. Hope is a choice, a decision. Maintaining hope requires effort and work. Hope is work.
When women tap into that hope we have on the inside of us; we can look toward the future and know it's going to get better, that there are better days ahead, and that good things are coming our way. Even when times are dark, ugly, or rough, hope helps us see and recognize that there is still reason for optimism and what lies ahead. Hope reminds us of our destiny and purpose. Remember that we all have destiny and purpose, whether you are a stay-at-home mom or wife or working in C-suite at a major corporation. Hope doesn't always give us clarity, but it says, " Hey, your work is not done. Keep going.”
Hope is often misunderstood as wishful thinking or wish casting ( and I don't do either), and hope is certainly not either of those things. I am not passively waiting for something good to happen (or hoping against all odds). Hope requires action on our part--we have to work hard toward our goals and make plans to achieve them.
Love
1 Corinthians 13:13
So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three, but the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
“Loving ain’t easy,” it seems that it can be especially difficult for us. We often pour out ourselves without being poured into. As a result, we are left running on fumes. How do we effectively love other folk when we cannot love ourselves? 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 resonates with me so much here. Apply this verse to yourself: Love is patient and kind; give yourself grace and be kind to yourself. It does not envy or boast; you are enough! Do not compare yourself to other folk. And if we skip down just a bit, it bears all things, believes, all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love can conquer all insecurities. It can defeat the world's opinions and perceptions of who you are. You know you are beginning to operate in love when you believe in yourself and bet on yourself.
Self-love is the most important thing you can do for yourself. If you don’t love yourself, how can others love you, and can we expect them to love us correctly when we don’t love ourselves?
I thought I was ugly for so long that when people would compliment me, I would cringe. How could I possibly be anything other than ugly or broken? I felt guilty and unworthy when given compliments because I didn't love myself, making it impossible for me to receive love fully from others. In this season, chapter, or phase of your life, make 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 an affirmation, make loving yourself your daily and most important work even if it is difficult, reach within yourself, and tap into the unconditional love you deserve.
This Joy That I Have…
Joy is a powerful force. The ability to experience joy depends not on our circumstances but on how we perceive them. Joy is not dependent upon what happens in your life or mine; it's a state of being that allows us to see the good in every situation and through every challenge. Understanding that the joy that you have comes from within is imperative for your own personal growth. Happiness has a contingency plan; it shifts and sways; it ebbs and flows. But Joy is steadfast and immovable.
Joy looks like smiling when it seems you shouldn't be, dancing when others believe you have no reason to. Joy is making the conscious decision to say that I am not a victim, that life isn’t happening to me, but that all things, the good, bad, and grey areas in between, are all working for my good. For the betterment of me.
Joy comes from within each of us. We can cultivate it daily by making time for self-care, practicing gratitude, and paying attention to what brings us joy. Do you know what brings you Joy? And why? It may change from day to day, and that's OK. When I had my first child, his laughter would instantly change my mood, and when moments got rough, his laugh got me through. Even as I am typing this, I can hear it. It is permanently ingrained in my mind.
Conclusion
In reading this, I hope you were encouraged. I hope you understand that what you need has always been inside you. I have faith that It helps on your journey of self-discovery. We know how hard it can be to find yourself in a world where everyone is trying to define you. Quiet the noise, reach within and remember my words: you are POWERFUL, you are WORTHY, and sis, you are LOVED.
